


Where My Heart Lays

by ceeloilights



Category: Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Blossoming Platonic Relationship, Finding Strength, Happy Single Awareness Day!, Happy Valentines Day!, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 01:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17778440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceeloilights/pseuds/ceeloilights
Summary: Being swallowed in the dark abyss of space tends to make people think of how small and alone they are in the harshness of the universe. But, Hal finds a way to turn it around and find the light he follows everyday.





	Where My Heart Lays

**Author's Note:**

> This was suppose to actually go into a series, but I decided to leave it out, since it didn't really fit in. So, I decided to make it as a Valentine's Day/Single Awareness Day gift to everyone! It's a bit short, but I hope you do enjoy!

No doubt space was weird.

From the planets, to the molecular structures of the objects around. Space was weirder than weird, for that, Hal adored it.

That's probably why most people adored space, because it was shrouded with mysteries and questions. Anything could really happen in space.

A new universe could form, new life could be given, a life could be taken away. The possibilities were endless on what was in space. Letting others imaginations run wild.

But sometimes, Hal would be floating along in space, then the thought would hit him. 

He's tiny.

He was tiny compared to the unknowns of space, time, and who knows what's out there. It's almost sad to think about, and not many would like to remember that they're just barely an atom, compared to the size of the universe. But Hal, it wasn't like he enjoyed remembering that he didn't really matter in the long run, he just liked to ponder what would it be like if he just died.

Of course, he's died before. But that just gets him to think more. Why did he always get a second chance at life? What did he do to deserve it?

Sometimes he'd think this after missions, and sometimes he'd think this during everyday activities.

Why was he doing something that didn't mean anything? Why was he doing anything at all?

It would be so easy to just die.

Murder, suicide, homicide.

He'd never admit these thoughts out loud though. If he did, people would start to get concerned over his mental state for no reason.

It wasn't like he wanted to die, it wasn't even that he wants to suffer. It's that he wants to know why he's still living, what he's standing for, and what he's made to do.

Hal's always been a deep person, even if others see him differently. Though, he wasn't one to blame.

He's always shown this cocky, stubborn, annoying side of him that sometimes it's hard for even himself to find the line that separates his outer-self from his inner-self.

Inside, Hal loves to deeply think about the universe, about how things work, and about life in general. He didn't want to consider himself a closet nerd, but in actuality, he was. He really, really was.

Many assume him for being the idiot type, and yes, he can agree that most times he can be dumb. But, many don't understand that he actually trained in the military, and had a bachelors degree. 

Had. 

It got prominently smashed, torn, and thrown out when he got into a fight with Jack.

It wasn't like the paper really had any use anymore, now that he got the test pilot job before the thing got smashed. Then again, nothing can really be big when the universe makes it so small.

It would be a lie if Hal ever said he didn't feel worthless after thinking about how small he is. Not the type of worthless where you end up threatening to kill yourself after knowing how little you mean to the world. 

No, no, Hal isn't suicidal, he promises. 

It's just that, sometimes it hard to feel big when you know you're so small. Like everything you do doesn't really matter, and no matter how big you make it, you're still going to die in the end.

It really makes him think why he's still doing what he does. Why he even gets out of bed every morning, just to know that he'll never remember those mornings where he rolls out of bed, forgetting how small it actually is, and ending up falling onto the floor.

Why wake up when he could just lay there and eventually die, knowing he would anyway.

His thoughts would end up lingering, his brain trying to find a reason to get up, a reason to just start the day that's not going to wait for him, and his thoughts always go back to one thing.

Well, more like one person. 

Barry Allen.

Stupid Barry Allen with his bright blond hair, and his baby blue eyes, and his nerdy flash facts that anyone with barely half a brain can learn anything from.

It's funny that he makes fun of Barry all the time, because he's almost like a lifeline to him.

Something to hold onto when Hal feels like he might break. A rope he can catch when he thinks he's falling farther and farther away from Earth, life, and reality. Someone who could pull him up when he thinks he's basically dead.

The forensic scientist gives him so much, it's actually scary.

But above all, Barry gives Hal a reason to live. From making him remember why he's still waking up in the morning, to persistently fighting intergalactic space wars monthly. Why he's grateful that he gets second chances at life, and why he hasn't given up on his emotions yet.

Something in the blond makes him smile. Makes him feel bubbly and happy, makes him feel willful and hopeful.

He wants to hug the speedster every time he flashes a smile towards him in the mornings, wants to shout along with him when the hero cheers after a well fought fight, wants to be that little light that guides him through life and reminds him that there's something worth living for. If not for himself, keep pushing on for Hal to move forward.

Like his space thoughts, Hal never voiced these things out loud, for he's not one to do those sorts of cheesy things, causally. It just didn't come naturally to him like his adoration for Barry does.

Instead, he only voices his feelings for the blond in body language. Whether that be a quick glance, or a long stare. Sometimes, even a lingering touch, or a friendly arm around his shoulder.

It was basic knowledge that Hal didn't like cheesy things, unless it's food.

But sometimes, sometimes when Barry really needed it. Hal would most definitely go to the ridiculously scary caring words.

Hal never wanted to see his light dim, and it always tore a little of his heart away when the speedster started crying. Something about sad, watery tears in those blue eyes, never seemed to fit right, making Hal hate the sight.

So when he starts cooing, whispering, and dipping his voice until it's barely audible, even to himself, he knew he was doing it for the right person.

The cheesiness pays off when Hal gets to see that small smile that's trying to find the silver lining, feel the hands desperately grabbing at him to hold onto happiness, the lightness in the air when Barry starts to laugh again.

Smiling to himself, he heard, "You ready to go home?"

"I'm ready to get back to trying to match both of my socks everyday." was Hal's answer, making him receive a slight laugh.

"Alright, let's get home."

Home.

Hal liked that. 

Barry was his home, Earth was his house, and space was the exploration that needed to be done. But right now, home felt so far away, yet it always felt so near.

Space was mysterious, complicated, and weird. While home was safe, comforting, and solace.

No doubt space was awesome, but home really is where his heart laid.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading until the end!  
> I just want to wish everyone a wonderful day! As well as lots of love from me, even if you don't want it.  
> If you do leave any comments or kudos please know I'm so, very grateful that you did!  
> It makes me smile and motivated to make new stories.


End file.
